Anything Goes...

2003-03-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

Tuesdays Offering

Debate the War if you like openly, whether you are for it, or in opposition of it.
But support our troops, unconditionally.

2003-03-19T09:32:00.000-05:00

BLAME CANADA ?

Here is a rather long but worthwhile read from the Toronto Daily Star.
Hurrah for you Stephen Harper for your candor.
And as for you Prime Minister Chretien, you make me ashamed to be born Canadian.

Canada scrambles to repair U.S. links
Agrees to random searches of cars leaving country

TIM HARPER AND ALLAN THOMPSON
OTTAWA BUREAU

OTTAWA—One day after announcing Canada will sit out the war in Iraq, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien scrambled to head off what some fear could be a severe rupture in Ottawa-Washington relations.

U.S. President George W. Bush is likely within hours of announcing that bombing of Iraq will start, but Canadians today are already feeling the impact of Chrétien's announcement Monday that this country will not participate in the war.

Some of the immediate moves the government made to ease tensions with the U.S. include:

Canada agreed to randomly search vehicles leaving Canada en route to the U.S., a move requested by Washington.

Canadian frigates in the Persian Gulf will continue to escort American and British ships bound for the Iraq campaign.

The planned visit by Bush on May 5 will go ahead as scheduled.

The Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) increased its vigilance at the border, at the request of the Americans.

Last night, traffic was backed up 9 kilometres from the border at Fort Erie and one trucker reported a five-hour delay crossing to the U.S. Police were closing some roads leading to the QEW because of stalled traffic.

Meanwhile, the Prime Minister stressed that trade between the two countries will not be damaged. A number of his ministers were in touch with American counterparts, explaining the Canadian position and pledging to work together on continental matters, even as the U.S. state department expressed its "disappointment."

The Chrétien government also stressed in addition to the three frigates in the Gulf, our troop commitment in Afghanistan is part of the U.S. war on terrorism.

Deputy Prime Minister John Manley warned backbenchers in his caucus to refrain from making personal comments about U.S. motives.

As the day wore on, Chrétien became less dismissive and more reflective on the possible fallout from Washington.

"I'm sure they are disappointed," Chrétien said. "I knew that. But we had to make a decision based on the convictions of the Canadian people and the Canadian government.

"They want to maintain good relations with us. You know, we have disagreed in the past and we will disagree in the future."

Some don't believe Chrétien can successfully avoid economic fallout by pledging to abide by Canadian convictions while snubbing its biggest trading partner, ally and neighbour as it goes to war.

"In war, nobody respects somebody who doesn't have a position, who sits on the sidelines," Opposition Leader Stephen Harper said. "We are cheering against Saddam Hussein, for his removal, and for our allies.

"The government should do the same and they don't have the guts to say that."

Historian Jack Granatstein said Chrétien has made a very serious mistake.

"Americans are quite rightly furious about this. This government will get zip from the U.S. administration, absolutely nothing, whether it lasts two years or six years," he said.

"What is going to happen when Washington decides to spend another 30 seconds on each truck crossing the border? It will bring our economy to its knees. What is Ottawa going to do when Congress gets the okay to start kicking Canada on every trade issue?

"When little countries spit at big countries they have trouble and we have just bought ourselves a lot of trouble."

One of the most significant appeasement moves came from Manley, who agreed to a request from Tom Ridge, head of U.S. Homeland Security, to randomly check vehicles leaving this country bound for the U.S.

"Normally, we don't inspect vehicles leaving the country," he said.

But, for the first time, he revealed that Canadian border officials began the practice after the U.S. went to a "Code Orange" security alert on Feb. 7. The alert was subsequently reduced to code yellow but it returned to code orange on Monday night when Bush gave Saddam and his sons 48 hours to get out of Iraq.

Solicitor-General Wayne Easter said he agreed with a request from his U.S. counterpart John Ashcroft to have the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) raise its level of vigilance, particularly near the international border, as the war begins.

Reid Morden, a former head of CSIS, said yesterday that Canadians should know they're now also at higher risk of being targeted, even though Canada has ruled out directly joining the war against Iraq.

"We represent the same kind of ... decadent society that they (terrorists) are bound to deal with," Morden told Canadian Press. "So we shouldn't breathe a sigh of relief from a security point of view just because we're not in this game."

Manley insisted Canada's stance on Iraq would not adversely affect Canada's diplomatic ties with the United States or injure crucial economic dealings between the two countries.

Chrétien's foreign affairs adviser, Claude Laverdure, said Chrétien has been clear with Bush on Canada's position dating back to a conversation the two leaders had 13 months ago while the Prime Minister was on a trade mission in Russia.

"They've known our position for a year," Chrétien said following a morning cabinet meeting.

"There is no confusion between Mr. Bush and I. I told him clearly. He made his own decision and I respect his authority to make a decision on behalf of the people of the United States. I made a decision on behalf of the people of Canada."

Chrétien was winning support at home. His office said 3,500 e-mails had been received by mid-morning yesterday, 2-to-1 in favour of his position.

Another couple of thousand of e-mails, most supportive, went directly to U.N. ambassador Paul Heinbecker.

In the House of Commons, Chrétien said, "given some more weeks, disarmament would have been achieved."

But the Alliance stepped up its attack on Chrétien, with Harper accusing the Liberals of supporting Saddam and another MP calling Defence Minister John McCallum a "jackass'' in the Commons.

"This is a government which says Saddam Hussein is a terrible guy who possesses weapons and is violation of U.N. resolutions, then says it is important he not be removed from office against his will," Harper said.

"Whatever side of this you are on, this government is embarrassing, the Prime Minister's behaviour is gutless. We have historically stood beside our best friends, the United States and Britain, that's where we should be now."

NDP Leader Jack Layton said any fallout in Canada-U.S. relations was not the point of the government decision.

But, he added, relations were "pretty chilly" to begin with, and he couldn't see how this decision could worsen them.

With files from Les Whittington

Additional articles by Linda Diebel

2003-02-24T15:35:00.000-05:00

IS THIS GUY FOR REAL ??????

GET A GRIP, AND COME OUT OF THE CYBER WORLD, AND INTO THE REAL WORLD.

This is what happened when I stopped by Acids blog today.

You people can't possibly be taking it that seriously.
Win or lose, I couldn't have cared less.
Don't stamp your feet too loud Acid, your tantrum is showing.

Posted by Madonna at February 24, 2003 09:03 AM

Um hmm. Methinks you'd be "stamping your feet" if someone changed the rules mid-game to hose YOU.

For someone who dares lecture Acidman for not understanding women, you sure don't know one goddamn thing about men.

Let me educate you, not that you'll actually learn anything.

* The coffee-cup bet (loser buys coffee) is the most sacred of bets, precisely because no money or real cost is at stake, only the honor of the issue at hand.

* You do not EVER change the rules mid-contest. And you sure as hell don't do it with the express purpose of giving someone an advantage.

* The only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner. You should have stayed out of this thread, had you any class.

* The only thing worse than a sore winner is one that cheated, and STILL thinks they can mosey their ass over and lecture.

There are people capable of out-cussing and out-insulting Acidman. On a really, really good day, I'm one of them. On your best day, you aren't.

So, unless you want me to show you exactly what-for, you'll not post in this particular thread again. Consider your wrinkled ass run out of town, duct-taped to the underside of a slow mule.

Wench.

Posted by Ryan Waxx at February 24, 2003 01:05 PM

I have NO intentions of taking any bullying from the likes of you Ryan.
Are you always such an ass hole ?
It was supposed to be in fun, and a little competitive. Who cares about the rules.
Why don't you just go and suck Acids dick and get it over with ?? Geesh, what a jerk.
This I will say though, if Acid doesn't want me to post here, then let him say so, and I won't anymore.
Now, Ryan, why don't you go kill yourself ?

Posted by Madonna at February 24, 2003 01:59 PM

2003-02-24T15:23:00.004-05:00

MORE NERVE

You know what ?????
Through the whole blog fight with Acidman I took the insults, and so did he, but I truly believed that whoever had won, that the other could be gracious and lets go on as usual.
I really did think that Acid was gracious, even though he made remarks about me and such, and a good time was had by all.
What truly burns my ass is that this Ryan Waxx creature acts so angry about Acid losing that you think I did it personally to him, just to make his life miserable.
I don't take kindly to ANYONE telling me where I can or cannot post my comment.
Last time I looked Ryan, this wasn't a third world country.
I thought the whole idea of this blog is to read, criticize if you want to, and enjoy.
YOU offend me Ryan, BIG TIME.
The day Acid tells me not to visit his site, I will respect that, but as far as you are concerned Ryan, Fuck you to the third power, you ignorant piece of shit.

2003-02-24T15:23:00.003-05:00

MORE NERVE

You know what ?????
Through the whole blog fight with Acidman I took the insults, and so did he, but I truly believed that whoever had won, that the other could be gracious and lets go on as usual.
I really did think that Acid was gracious, even though he made remarks about me and such, and a good time was had by all.
What truly burns my ass is that this Ryan Waxx creature acts so angry about Acid losing that you think I did it personally to him, just to make his life miserable.
I don't take kindly to ANYONE telling me where I can or cannot post my comment.
Last time I looked Ryan, this wasn't a third world country.
I thought the whole idea of this blog is to read, criticize if you want to, and enjoy.
YOU offend me Ryan, BIG TIME.
The day Acid tells me not to visit his site, I will respect that, but as far as you are concerned Ryan.
Fuck you to the third power, you ignorant piece of shit.

2003-02-24T15:23:00.002-05:00

MORE NERVE

You know what ?????
Through the whole blog fight with Acidman I took the insults, and so did he, but I truly believed that whoever had won, that the other could be gracious and lets go on as usual.
I really did think that Acid was gracious, even though he made remarks about me and such, and a good time was had by all.
What truly burns my ass is that this Ryan Waxx creature acts so angry about Acid losing that you think I did it personally to him, just to make his life miserable.
I don't take kindly to ANYONE telling me where I can or cannot post my comment.
Last time I looked Ryan, this wasn't a third world country.
I thought the whole idea of this blog is to read, criticize if you want to, and enjoy.
YOU offend me Ryan, BIG TIME.
The day Acid tells me not to visit his site, I will respect that, but as far as you are concerned Ryan.
Fuck you to the third power, you ignorant piece of shit.

2003-02-24T15:23:00.001-05:00

MORE NERVE

You know what ?????
Through the whole blog fight with Acidman I took the insults, and so did he, but I truly believed that whoever had won, that the other could be gracious and lets go on as usual.
I really did think that Acid was gracious, even though he made remarks about me and such, and a good time was had by all.
What truly burns my ass is that this Ryan Waxx creature acts so angry about Acid losing that you think I did it personally to him, just to make his life miserable.
I don't take kindly to ANYONE telling me where I can or cannot post my comment.
Last time I looked Ryan, this wasn't a third world country.
I thought the whole idea of this blog is to read, criticize if you want to, and enjoy.
YOU offend me Ryan, BIG TIME.
The day Acid tells me not to visit his site, I will respect that, but as far as you are concerned Ryan.
Fuck you to the third power, you ignorant piece of shit.

2003-02-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

MORE NERVE

You know what ?????
Through the whole blog fight with Acidman I took the insults, and so did he, but I truly believed that whoever had won, that the other could be gracious and lets go on as usual.
I really did think that Acid was gracious, even though he made remarks about me and such, and a good time was had by all.
What truly burns my ass is that this Ryan Waxx creature acts so angry about Acid losing that you think I did it personally to him, just to make his life miserable.
I don't take kindly to ANYONE telling me where I can or cannot post my comment.
Last time I looked Ryan, this wasn't a third world country.
I thought the whole idea of this blog is to read, criticize if you want to, and enjoy.
YOU offend me Ryan, BIG TIME.
The day Acid tells me not to visit his site, I will respect that, but as far as you are concerned Ryan.
Fuck you to the third power, you ignorant piece of shit.

2003-02-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE

There was an affliction that my ex husband had and I think the Crackster has the same disease.
It's called the POOR ME SYNDROME.
Poor me, I am the only one who has ever been cheated on. Poor me, I am the only one that has ever gotten a divorce. Poor me, I am the only person in the world to ever pay child support. Poor me, that's why I drink. Poor me, that's why I hate women. Poor me, that's why I am nasty.
Your anger only exceeds your pompous arrogance and ego.
You say your main cause in life is your son, but you are too stupid and stubborn to realize that the way you feel about your ex has to be affecting him, negatively.
No matter how you think you are disguising it, you can't.
No matter how rotten you think she is, she is still his mother and there is nothing you can do to change that, ever.
We have only heard your side, and everyone knows there are two sides to a story.
I am not particularily fond of my ex either. He won custody and I was crushed. But I will say this, give the devil his dues, he is a good father. A lousy husband, but a good father.
He remarried, (Kathy Bates) and they would love to see me totally gone.
It distressed Paige to no end, because she felt the hatred.
There were times I guess, I was as bad as he was.
But, I got over it.
Now, when I say something nice about Daddy, or laugh when I pick her up at Daddy's, Paige lights up, because she knows the fight is over, at least on my part.
I am happy now with Dorsey and that is what counts.
Dorsey and Paige have a ball together.
Alice and Bill love Paige.
We all spend time together and Paige has too families that love her, instead of two that hate each other.
Get rid of the hatred, there is no winning, only degrees of losing.

2003-02-21T09:29:00.000-05:00

A CONVERSATION WITH DORSEY

To save time I am going to leave quotation marks out.

Hey Dorsey, (my husband) can I ask you something ?
What ?
What is the abosolute worst, offensive insult to a man ?
Why do you want to know that ?
This guy insulted me on the blog, and I thought it might be fun to insult him back.
You and Bill and that goddamn blog, how about a blow job instead ?
Be serious Dorsey, come on.
Ok, ok, where is this clown from ?
Kenvir, Kentucky, but he lives in Georgia now.
Oh Madonna, now why do you want to go picking on those poor backward southerners ?
Would you pick on Tache ? (our dog)
NO.
You know these people are one rung up from retarded. (no offense to retarded people)
YES, I KNOW, BUT......
All they do is drink,and whore,and listen to country music. Most of them die in jail.
I KNOW, BUT..........
Do you want to be responsible for this guy drinking himself to death ?
NO
Then stop teasing the poor sod, go to work, and play nice with the other kids.
OK.

Of course I have no intention of being nice to this creature.
Dorsey is always trying to spoil my fun.

2003-02-20T10:10:00.000-05:00

WHAT STARTED IT
Acidman thinks that I was opposed to his abortion comment.
Not so, Cracker Meal.
I commented about your reluctance to giving a child support check to your ex.
Now, I know how you feel about handing that check over to her, BUT, what you are forgetting is that it is for Quinton, not for her.
The more resentment you feel, believe me, Quinton feels it too.
You hate her, trust me, he feels that.
No matter how you feel, (and he loves you, so he wants to please you) you have got to put that resentment on the back burner, at least when he's around.
Christ, I don't know you, and I can feel it.
Kids feel guilty about loving a parent if it is obvious that one doesn't like the other.
Anyway, it's only been 17 months. It takes years sometimes to become indifferent, but you will.
Never forget what matters the most, the chidren.

2003-02-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

BISQUE FOR BLU
Try this and tell me how it turned out.
I whole lobster, probably about a pound, pound and half.
I pint of heavy whipping cream
tomato paste
sherry (not cooking sherry)
cognac
tarragon
Now this is very basic, you may want to add some other spice, but I would be careful not to overdue it.
I would get a cooked lobster because I don't have the heart to do it myself. he he
Take the meat out of the shells, save shells
Get a large pot and put about 8 cups water
Throw the shells in and simmer for about an hour
If you can find some seafood base in your area, (probably a gourmet store) I would use some of that too.
Strain the shells and discard, save the liquid
Turn on a low heat and add the cream
If you can get fresh tarragon, all the better
You want to use tarragon sparingly, it is very pungent, but good.
Put a few tablespoons of tomato paste, stir.
I would let it simmer on very low for about 15 to 20 min.
Now, when you put it into bowls, add your chunks of lobster meat to the hot soup, then a tblsp cognac, and tblsp of sherry.
Garnish with fresh parsely (optional)
Now, if you want a thicker soup, add a little flour and water mixture to the pot while soup is simmering.
Bon appetite !!!!!!!

2003-02-18T11:06:00.000-05:00

RECIPE FOR RITA
LASAGNA

I like to use fresh pasta, but if you can get the dry flat pasta, that will work just fine.
A whole package 1lb will make a ton.
I try to cut calories where I can, but if your preferrence is the full Monty, go for it.

I pkg lasagna
2 lg cans of crushed tomatoes
1 can tomato paste
garlic
Italian spice
tarragon, (a must with red sauce)
sugar (to your own taste, I like a sweeter sauce)
Combine all above ingredients and simmer for about an hour
(Now, if you are in a hurry, a Ragu sauce doctored up the way you like it will suffice)
This is a basic sauce, so you can be creative and put cooked italian sausage, ground meat, chicken, almost anything you like
Once the lasagna is cooked, and your sauce is ready, you will need the following:
I container of ricotta cheese (you can substitute low fat cottage cheese)
2 pkgs of mozzarella cheese (more if you like lots of cheese
I pkg parmesan cheese
Mix all of your cheeses together
Take cooked noodles, rinse in cold water
Get a large spoon, and spoon out enough sauce to cover the bottom of your lasagna pan
I would actually grease tha pan with a little olive oil to avoid sticking
Put one layer of noodles, one of sauce, then cheese mixture, and so on
Put any remaining cheese and sauce on the very top layer
Cook at 325 for about 1 hr, covered with foil
Let sit for about 20 min. before you cut it.
Serve with some fattening bread, and enjoy!!!!!!!!!

2003-02-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

STILL CRAZY

Bill, my son in law, loves a good fight. Especially when he is the upstart. He has graciously involved me in a Rocky type blog to the finish with acidman.
I consider this a challenge considering I don't speak redneck very well.
The game is afoot!!!!!!!!

2003-02-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

I'M A DISGUSTA

When I first purchased my computer I was so excited about being able to talk to people from all over, look up things, and visit places with my eyes.
It never occured to me in a million years that you could find so many crazies on one medium.
I suppose the anonymity of the computer makes one braver.
Cutesy names, cutesy phrases, and come to find out you are conversing with someone who could play lead in Night of the Living Dead and with about as much personality as a lanced boil.
Anyway, now there is blog. I like it, there are some very interesting and funny people on it.
BUT, remember those panhandlers on the street near the liquor store ?
Well, now we have a more sophisticated twist to begging for change.
We have homeless guy on the blogosphere.
This guy has literally begged his way to probably a better set up than us working stiffs have.
Feel sorry for me, I'm depressed, feel sorry for me, I have a condition which makes it impossible for me to work.
That condition is called I can't get a job that pays as well as living off of other people's money.
I'm sorry, but you know what ? I have had severe depression and anxiety that I take meds for.
I go to work, and don't say that you don't have experience at anything homeless guy because I went back into the work force after quite a few years being out of the flow of things. Christ, I taught myself the computer. You obviously have some computer skills, so what's up with that ?
Why don't you use those exceptional begging and writing skills of yours, write yourself a work of art fictional resume, and beg for a job ?
Disabled people work, you ought to be ashamed. But of course you probably take their money too.
What is that other expression, "Beggers can't be choosey ?
And this guy has the nerve to be choosey too.
Don't indulge this guy, people, he thinks he's slick.
As my mother would say, "Don't give away your ass, and shit through your ribs"

2003-02-06T09:22:00.000-05:00

I am still going to post recipes blu, hopefully I will get to some later. :)

2003-02-06T09:17:00.000-05:00

BAD HAIR DAYS
sung to the tune of I'm a Bitch.

I hate my hair today
It looks like a bale of hay
Well, you look at me like wondering, what's the colour underneath
Are those her real teeth ?

Yesterday I cried
It was raining and my hair looks like it's fried
Hey you baldy, boy do I ever envy you
My hair looks so confused
It's a bit of every shitty colour all rolled into one

My hairs a bitch
It's a mother
Can I find something to cover it
Make it thinner
Get some paint
I think I'm going to faint

Roots are showing
I could scream
My hairdresser is mean
Can't she style it some other way.

2003-02-06T09:02:00.000-05:00

Actually, my ass doesn't know much about linking to Bill's site either, sorry about that.

2003-02-06T08:57:00.000-05:00

This post is for my wonderful son in law, Bill.
When I was about 15 years old our school went to Ottawa to meet Trudeau.
When I tell you it was like meeting the President would be an understatement.
I actually shook his hand and spoke with him.
He was an extremely charismatic man, charming and well spoken.
I am very much to the right, but you have to understand that Liberals dominated for 60 or so years in Canada.
To some, it was just a way of life. Their fathers were, and their fathers, and so on.
So, you have almost 2 generations of Canadians who know nothing but a dominating Liberal government.
So, what I am saying is, most Americans know about as much about Trudeau, and Canada, as my ass knows about snipe shooting.

2003-02-04T15:22:00.000-05:00

P.S. I also make excellent lasagna.

2003-02-04T15:08:00.000-05:00

A REAL RECIPE

This is my own recipe for Alfedo, unlike the travesty that Bill posted today.
What am I going to do with these kids ?

Anyway, I prefer to use linguini, but you can actually use a pasta of your choice.

1 pkg fresh pasta
1 pint heavy whipping creme
3/4 stick of real butter
I use about 3 cups of cheese.
I mix parmesan, asiago, and provolone.
some pepper, fresh chives, and tarragon to taste.

I put the creme in a small saucepan on medium low.
Put in butter, pepper, chives, tarragon, and cheese.
Simmer for about 15 minutes until thickened.
In the meantime have the pasta boiling.
When the pasta and sauce are ready, drain pasta and pour the sauce over it, mix together.
It's quick, it's delicious, it's fattening, and it tastes great the next day.

Hmmmm....Perhaps I will post MY recipes here.
They are not funny, and you can really eat them.

2003-02-03T09:58:00.000-05:00

TAKE TWO THIRDS OF YOUR INCOME AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING

This is for all the people who believe in socialized medicine.

Take it from me, you don't want it.
I lived in Canada for 33 years under it, and you can have it.
They have pro choice, but you're situation has to be evaluated by a medical board to make sure there is no choice.
They decide whether you have a good enough reason to have an abortion.

You also have to be mentally evaluated before you can have elective surgery.
This is to make sure that you are not getting plastic surgery, thinking you will look like Jennifer Lopez, and then filing a suit against the surgeon who did it.

You can choose your family doctor, but he chooses the specialist, which incidentally could take months.
My father waited months to get to see a specialist for prostate cancer. By the time he got to see someone, he needed to have a testical removed.
He was still not feeling well, and about five years later, (after numerous dr. visits) was finally diagnosed with bone cancer and by this time he was ready for morphine.
My mother had a stroke, a mild one at home, and then a severe one in the hospital.
No blood thinners, no treatment, just have your stroke, get you situated in the nearest nursing home, and therapy ?, hold on, therapy costs money, that will come out of your pocket.
My best friend in the world, died of lupus by too late diagnosis. They told her she was depressed and had a flu.
Now once would be a coincidence, 3 times is a disgrace.

Think about it.
We can choose the specialist we want.
We can choose the time we want.
We can choose the treatment we want.
I vote for choice.

2003-01-17T09:29:00.000-05:00

THE BIN LADEN, SADDAM SONG
(sung to the tune of the Patty Duke Show)

Here's Osama who's got some ugly hair
He can't be caught, he's like thin air.

But Saddam likes the camera lights
His ugly face is such a sight.

What a crazy pair.
But they're Terrorists, Identical Terrorists, and you'll find

They hate alike, they kill alike, they even beat their wives alike
You could lose your mind
When Terrorists, are two of a kind.

2003-01-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

VIRGINIA'S NOT SO FINEST

So, it's freezing outside and a friend of mine here at work comes back from lunch and says "You won't believe what just happened."
She proceeds to tell me that she got a flat on Dam Neck Road near the school that I can't remember the name, and she luckily had her cell phone with her and called AAA, another good thing to have.
There was a police car right across the street.
This guy never made a move to help, or ask her if she needed assistance.
If that wasn't bad enough, another cop car pulled up and both of them were jawing away while my friend waited patiently for AAA.
It makes my head spin to think how fast they would have been over there if they had suspected she had a drink, or if they thought they might get lucky or something.
I'm surprised they didn't give her a ticket for illegal parking.
What a disgrace !
To serve and protect. I see neither in this story.

2003-01-09T09:57:00.000-05:00

A NICE CUP OF TEA ?

Today is a shit day, and it all started over a cup of tea.
Our dog Tache is going through a mental stage where he shits and pisses wherever he likes.
He does it for spite if he doesn't get enough attention, or if he doesn't get his own way.
Last night when I got home he had shit and pissed all over his play area that Dorsey had built for him.
Dorsey had been gone all day, (he decided he felt like working) and naturally I made it home to be first in line for the smell.
How convenient.
Two things, one, I didn't want Dorsey to have to deal with the mess after being on the road all day, and two, I couldn't stand to have it there.
It took me a good hour to clean it up, not to mention I had the forsight to stop by the pet store on the way home and pick up some dog poo cleaning supplies given his track record on shit and piss.
By the time Dorsey got home, the house was spic and span.
I asked him if he could bathe the dog, I was exhausted, and he said, "No, I am not good at that, it takes two people."
The dog did not get a bath last night.
Now, you say, "What does this have to do with tea ?"
Well, this morning, I was getting ready to get out of bed when Dorsey says, "Why don't you come over here and hug me for a few minutes before you get up?"
I said I couldn't because I had to get up.
He got into a snit, and I said "Look, I would love to come back to bed and hug you all day if I had a choice."
Anyway, I get into the shower, come out, make myself a cup of tea, makeup, hair, dressed, ready to roll.
As I am leaving, he leans over, gives me a kiss, and says, "There, did that take up too much of your time ?"
Wrong, wrong, wrong thing to say.
I asked him if he wanted to have extra time with me in the morning then why not help me out by maybe making my tea while I am in the shower.
It would be a thoughtful thing to do, sort of like cleaning rancid dog shit so someone else didn't have to.
He said he had to draw the line at making me tea in the morning because then I would get spoiled.
"Why should I get out of bed and make your tea, then come back to bed, when I can just stay in bed ?"
It's called being thoughtful Dorsey, look it up in the dictionary.
As it stands, I swore to him (in more ways than one) that I would never, ever, ask him to make me a cup of tea, and that I made tea before he came along, and I can continue to make it without his help.
He asked for a kiss before I left.
I told him he was welcome to kiss my ass.
If he ever makes me a cup of tea, I will not only spit it at him, I will piss in his eye.

2003-01-07T09:07:00.000-05:00

I'M STILL HERE

Well, after almost two weeks off of work I am back.
Actually, I was back yesterday but I was in a shitty mood, back at work, not wanting to do anything, but pretending I have too much to do.
I am trying to figure out how working fits into my spirituality.
I feel like my ass belongs to everyone but me.
For the second day in a row now I have left the house in the freezing cold, (today snow) while Dorsey is still sleeping.
Resentment you say ? Understatement.
He is talking about moving to Florida.
Last year it was Gulf Shores, but our friend Paul that lived there died, so Dorsey didn't think that place would be fun anymore.
But we have alive friends living in North Palm Beach and Dorsey says that is the life.
If you knew how much money we don't have, you would know how absolutely ludicrous this is.
Of course if we moved there, I would still be working and Dorsey we still be sleeping.
The end.

2002-12-23T09:40:00.000-05:00

Another conversation with my Turkish hairdresser.

How you bin ?
You doing anything ? You bin busy ?
Yeah, I went to a party, guess what they had for a dinner entree.
Don't tell me, not a pork !
Yep, pork.
(Neither Aysel or I eat pork)
Madonna, what is with the southern ?
These southern put pork honks in everything.
You can't eat it a vegetable in the restaurant without a pork in it.
Big ham honks, in everything !
They have a lots of lamb here, you would think they would cook a lamb.
It's very clean animal, not like a pig.
I don't know what is matter with these southern.

2002-12-20T09:26:00.000-05:00

News flash, Virginia Beach

Virginia Beach Police went on a dangerous mission last night giving out tickets to illegally parked vehicles.
One office was noted as saying " I came up to the perp cautiously, read miranda to the car, keeping my hand on my gun."

"It was touch and go, but we were finally able to attach the ticket under the left windshield wiper."

The officer above mentioned is being treated for shock after this trying ordeal.

2002-12-19T09:49:00.000-05:00

Today I came downstairs to find a porn video on the living room table.
This is Dorsey's way of telling me he is deprived (depraved?) of sex.
Now, in my defense, Sunday was the last time, I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, clean house on the weekends, and because Dorsey loves to party, we have been out every night this week, and in between I have to try to Christmas shop, get to the cleaners, etc.
You know what ? Pick a room Dorsey, I can't excel in everything.
I am tired, tired, tired, of our "Madonna is inadequate arguments."
He is semi-retired, works when he feels like it, so time has no meaning to him.
If he feels like staying up until 3 in the a.m., he does so.
If he feels like sleeping in, he does that.
He expects me to be "in the mood", no matter what time it is.
He also had the grand nerve to tell me as I was walking out the door for work, that he needed help with the dishes, and he was tired of doing them by himself.
You are home all day, do the fucking dishes and shut up.
I walked out the door crying, and telling him to find someone perfect, I can't live up to your standards.
Now, here I am at work, trying to put on a happy face, and wishing that I lived alone.
And Alice and Bill, I still hate Christmas, and Dorsey isn't helping.

2002-12-17T11:43:00.000-05:00

I will be back this afternoon with hopefully something interesting to say.
I have been reading other peoples blogs this a.m.
Some pretty good stuff out there.

2002-12-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

Since Bill is being a greedy guts and asking for BIG stuff, THIS is what I want for Christmas, and THIS.

2002-12-13T11:13:00.000-05:00

On a personal note.
Happy Birthday Julee.
And Karen, the drinks are on me.

2002-12-13T10:13:00.000-05:00

Below is a notice we received this a.m. that was attached to our trash can.
There are garbage can spies, paid by the city to watch our cans, and make sure you don't put them out too early or leave them out too late at night.
There was also a warning, telling us if we didn't shape up that the city would take our trash cans away from us as punishment, and we would have to come and get them in garbage can jail, and bail them out at our own expense.
Do they have trash can bail bondsmen?
Does this mean they will have a police record?
I am picturing this van parked outside of our house, and a guy with binoculars and donuts watching and waiting, writing down dates, times, and places that he last saw the illeged garbage can.
What a great way to waste tax dollars ! Better still, where do I apply?
If I am Canadian, does my garbage can need a green card ?

2002-12-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

Garbage is collected once a week, and is to be placed at curbside prior to 7 a.m. on your assigned day. Collections are made on all holidays except for Christmas Day and New Year's Day. Check the Beacon section of the Virginian-Pilot the week prior to these holidays for alternate collection dates or call the Waste Management Division at 430-2450. All garbage should be placed in automated containers with the handle toward your house. Keep at least 3 feet of clearance between your container and any other items, and do not put containers, bags or limbs near mailboxes, cable boxes or vehicles.
Days: Monday-Friday
Hours: 8:00am - 5:00pm

2002-12-12T14:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, New York is getting tough on it's smokers.
Now, you may get mugged, or shot, but God Dammit, no one can blow smoke in your face.
Now that's what I call progress.
Is it because our government feels impotent about real crime, that they come up with this shit to make it look like something is being done about something.
What next ? I can't smoke in my own home ?
Some will comply with this, and others will just go elsewhere, or stay at home.
You can't dictate what people want. Haven't we learned anything from prohibition ?The whole point is a choice.
Are we not big people ?
If you don't like smoke, don't go to where people smoke.
Nobody is forcing you, and most places accomodate those who don't smoke.
This action is only going to hurt the business owners.
I notice they haven't banned the cigar stores where you can smoke your fool head off.
Why ? because cigar smoking is considered chic ?
Whatever.

2002-12-11T14:29:00.000-05:00

Poor me, I have had the flu since Friday.

2002-12-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

If any of you are wondering why I haven't linked anyone, it's Bill's fault.
He was supposed to show me but as usual, he has not time for his faultless, beautiful, intelligent and modest MIL.
And I am too lazy, er, I mean tired, when I get home to find out by myself.

2002-12-06T09:24:00.000-05:00

My mother had the funniest, and most profound expressions.
She was funny even when she was trying to be serious.
We have an Irish Catholic background and you can find a whole lot of humour in both being Irish and Catholic.
During my last divorce, (I have had four) I called up my mother and was crying, and complaining, and my mother was listening and being comforting like she always was, and I felt the whole world hated me, when she said, " Tell them all to kiss your ass," "They're born, but they're not buried.
I had to burst out laughing.
Born, but not buried ? What the hell does that mean ?
"Well", my mother said, "It means they shouldn't put you down, because they may do something worse than you before they die."
Ok, I got it. I use that one a lot these days.
My all time favorite of hers is, "There's a big difference between scratching your ass, and tearing the skin off it."
Translation being, making a mountain out of a mole hill.
How about, "You don't give away your ass, and shit through your ribs."
In other words, charity begins in the home.
"Boid still" (I have no idea what that means, but my mother said it a lot)
"You are as saucy as the black." Not a racial slur, but meaning the black Irish, as opposed to the orange.
"Don't come near me now, I have lazer breath." Self explanitory.
I miss you every day Mom. Having a wonderful time, wish you were here.

2002-12-05T17:08:00.000-05:00

Things you would never hear my father say,

No, please, take the bottle away, I have had plenty to drink for one night.

How about we listen to some of your rock music for a change, I am tired of Hank Williams.

Oh, I don't know, cook dinner ?, I am not a very good cook you know.

Here, you take the remote control, watch that love story on Channel 9, I am tired of Westerns.

What ? Don't be telling those grandchildren what time they have to be in, let them stay out another half an hour.

Let's get a dog, I don't mind cleaning up after it, or feeding it.

Let's go to bingo, I'll pay for a change.

Please, stay on the phone as long as you like, I don't mind.

My father had a very thick Newfoundland accent, he was a very funny guy at times.
Not perfect, had a lot of flaws like the rest of us, but I loved him just the same.
We made fun of him when he was alive, so I know he wouldn't mind now.
Luv and miss you Daddy.
Tomorrow, my mother and her funny ways.

2002-12-05T10:03:00.000-05:00

A conversation with my Turkish hairdresser goes something like this....
"Hi Aysel, how have you been ?"
"Oh, pretty good, knock on wooden door, or is it knock on wall ?"
"Did you ever meet that guy you were telling me about?"
"No, I met other guy first, so I guess it's like they say, day light, short dollar.
"Oh, have you seen so and so lately?"
"Oh yeah, and last time I saw she was bones and skins"
"Oh my, how awful!"
"She had it troubles, like between 2 rivers and a rock"
"Hmmm"
"Well, good luck with the new guy"
"He is very handsome, I am a sucker for the blue eyes you know"
"I know"
"So, how is the Dorsey ?"
"Fine"
"You need a gel, a spray, shempoo or anything ?"
"No thanks, but it was nice talking to you"
"Yeah, I enjoyed, see you in couple weeks"

2002-12-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

Well, it's about 3 weeks before Christmas and already the panic is setting in.
There are not enough hours in the day, days in the week, blah, blah, blah.
I am not a big Christmas fan.
Christmas growing up consisted of a lot of drinking, fighting, and very little cheer.I dread this time of year.
Plus, my birthday happens to be on December 25, thus, the name Madonna.
My daughter Alice and my husband Dorsey get on my case about being such a humbug, and I try not to be a poop, I really do.
And have you ever noticed how the people you love the most have passed away during or very close to the holidays ?
Both my parents died around the holidays. My mother in October, my father in November.
My girlfriend Karen died on December 13, which happens to be my daughter Julee's birthday.
Now that's a tough one.
This is a hard time of year for some who are alone.
It is not a good time (not that there ever is one) to be alone.
I am truly grateful that I have family living here in Virginia Beach to celebrate not just Christmas, but just being alive and healthy.
If you really want to make a difference this year, inivite over someone you know who has no one to celebrate with.
I believe this is worth more than any gift you could buy.
But, on a lighter note, feel free to send me all the presents and money that you want.
I will not insult you by not accepting it. ha, ha.
This goes for my children too. You're money is good here also.
Anyway, it may snow here and everyone is panicky.
I have to get to work or they won't pay me.
Then I won't be able to go out and spend mass quantities of money that I don't have for presents.
Tip: Do not make any new friends close to the holidays, keeps the amount of purchases down.
Also, try to have an argument with a few relatives and friends, this helps keep the purchases down too.
Ha, ha, ha, instead of Ho, ho, ho.
Later.

2002-12-02T09:55:00.000-05:00

I told everyone, "Don't feed the puppy table scraps, he is not used to it."
So, on the way up to Charlottsville, Mamma Boo gave him half of her egg/sausage muffin, (and I suspect a few hash browns) and then when we got there he got crackers, pecans, chips and salsa.
When dinner rolled around, turkey, dressing and the whole nine yards, including dessert.
We left Friday morning.
Now, understand, Charlottsville is a good 3 to 4 hour drive to Virginia Beach.
That little precious, that we love and adore, farted all the way.
I had accused Dorsey, my husband, and he said "Honey, if I could fart like that, I would be proud to claim it."
Imagine, every few minutes, 40 degrees, windows wide open.
I have never smelled anything so pungent in my life. It stuck to the air. It was thick. I was afraid to light a cigarette.
What in the world could make our little darlin' stink so bad ?
Then it hit us. Table food.My little puppy, eating and enjoying animal meat.
It's like Silence of the Turkeys.
Table food ! Table food ! NO MORE TABLE FOOD, EVEEEEEEEEEER !!!!!!!!!!!

2002-11-26T09:27:00.000-05:00

Well it finally happened.
After countless times of running into Dorsey's false teeth, (he has a partial and it bothers him when he eats) he lost them, probably for good this time.
Thank God he doesn't read my blog or he would kill me for writing this.
As it is I will catch it from Alice.
Anyhoo, Dorsey takes great amusement and liberties with his teeth.He likes to leave them places such as, next to my food, in my makeup bag, and he has been known to drop them in someone's wine glass when they weren't looking.
My husband has an unusual sense of humor.
So, after countless times of removing them and leaving them in the most unlikely places, they have disappeared.
"You want the tooth ?", "Yes, I want the tooth !". "You can't handle the tooth !"

2002-11-25T13:50:00.000-05:00

Don't shoot me please !
I think blu thought I was being harsh with Americans.
Don't get me wrong, I love it here.
Also because I was born in Canada, I love it there too.
In the 60s Rochdale College was open to anyone.
Everyone was treated the same. It was the hippie era, free love, peace, and all that other good stuff that went with it.
It makes me angry to see Canada put down so much when we have supported America (without the draft) in every single war that threatened both of our countries. My father was in the Korean war. My grandfather was in WWII.
I certainly wouldn't call that a pussy thing to do.
With all that is happening in the world today, all I can say is, don't insult the Canadians, they aren't your enemies.

2002-11-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

Ok Bill, you asked for it. Le gloves are off.
I happen to know all you loyal Bill fans, that he is a French sympathizer.
And how do I know this you ask ?
Well, Mr. I don't like French people was watching Moulin Rouge on Saturday afternoon along with his other French sympathizing friends, one of them being my own daughter !
So, the writing Judas, bashes Canada with one hand, and speaks French with the other.
I heard him with my own ears. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
How will I ever be able to face my friends again.

2002-11-25T10:03:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the nothingness last few days, I think I had bloggers block
Dorsey was on my nerves, the dog is chewing up everything of value, and I have thong burn on my bum.
Anyway, I am driving to work this a.m. and the woman beside me, in a truck, with grey hair that looks like it hasn't been washed or combed for a year, proceeds to pick her nose, big time.
If that wasn't bad enough, she ran her fingers through her hair (same hand that picked the nose) several times.
Is this a new form of redneck hair gel ?

And who says I am not a sports fan ?
Saw the Old Dominion basketball game yesterday.
It was fun going to a live game.
Does anyone know the cure for thong burn ?

And as for Jonah Goldberg, the Canadian clubber, you may be interested in this site..
I happen to have hung around Rochdale College in my hippie days, and I can tell you that at least 50% of it's occupants in this Canadian, Toronto based college were draft dodgers from America.
Enough said ?

2002-11-21T14:28:00.000-05:00

How about this ?
Malvo's mother Una Jones is appealing her deportation.
Would somebody please tell me where all these friggin' lawyers are coming from ?
Not to mention the money.
Where the hell were all you guys when I was trying to get in here LEGALLY!!!!!
And I came in by car, from a regular country.
I paid beucoup bucks to an immigration lawyer, not to mention the otherr palms along the way, and I was treated like shit.
Don't get me wrong, I love living here, but I came in the RIGHT WAY, and the INS were the rudest they could be to me.
At the time I was getting my papers and green card, they were getting interperters for the Hatian and Cuban illegal aliens, kissing their ass, and treating me like crap.
My point is, do you have to be a fucking loopy to deserve consideration ?
If you don't kill someone, work for a living, and mind your own business, does that mean I am not important enough to get help ?
There is something definitely wrong with this picture.
This thing will be appealed to death, (no pun intended) and the Liberals will have a ball..
Maybe they could get legal advice from the gloved one. Geesh!

2002-11-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

I am going home now to have some wine.
My mother in law who is 92 years old, and probably one of the finest southern ladies that ever walked, is going to come over.
I just love her to pieces. She is so much fun and loves life more than anyone I know. Her favorite drink is Vodka and grapefruit Twister.She can also drink the lot of us under the table.
We won't hear the dog bark tonight. he he

2002-11-20T13:59:00.000-05:00

Hey Alice, Bill, guess what?
I have been offered a job by none other than Don. (my dentist and lifelong pal of my husband)
He has offered more money (a lot) than I make, and I only work 4 days a week.
Dorsey tells me not to even consider this, because it would ruin our friendship.
Please help me separate my greed from reality.

2002-11-20T09:35:00.000-05:00

You want to talk about neighbours ?
I have a psycho, split personality on one side, and on the other side, well, you decide.
One woman moves in, next thing we know is there are a lot of nephew type "visitors" spending the night.
The bags I have under my eyes are from lack of sleep, because they have a dog that they leave out all the time and it constantly barks. (in suround sound)
There are so many cars parked on their front yard, (does this scream trailer park or what?) that you would have to be superman with xray vision to back your car out of our driveway.
I imagine very soon we will be having a serious "Come to Jesus" with these people.
Oh, and while I'm at it...I am the only person in Virginia Beach that knows how to drive.

2002-11-19T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hmmmmm........I am wondering if Bill forbade Alice to visit my website.

2002-11-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, so Dorsey doesn't understand blog.
Actually, anything that doesn't have football or large breasts on it doesn't interest him either.
Last nite he overheard me talking to Bill about his blog that day and said "Y'all ain't writin' nothing but porn."
Bill and I about died laughing, but Dorsey did not think it was very funny.
Understand this. Anything that doesn't directly affect Dorsey is not important.
I am sure he is jealous of anything that takes my time from him, even if it's in my mind.
I love him because Dorsey is just Dorsey, one of a kind, broke the mold Dorsey.
He can be the sweetest person in the world, but he can also be Damien.
Take it from me, I have been married 5 times.
It is better to live with the devil you know, than the devil you don't know.
Let's see, why would she get married 5 times?
a) She's on drugs
b) She's on drugs
c) She's on drugs
d) all of the above

2002-11-19T10:49:00.000-05:00

I talked to Bill and Alice last nite and they are terrified.
Are they terrified of the future of the world? No.
They are terrified of my big mouth.
Not that I would ever dream of telling tales out of school.
And just because now I feel empowered by this medium to speak out and embarass friends and family, it doesn't mean I actually intend to do it.
I have plenty of Dorsey's friends to start with before I get to you. he he he
Relax you guys, today I am going to show you how big I am by poking fun at myself. Maybe a little at Dorsey. I can't help myself.
Need to say thanks to Rachel, Michele, Ralph, Melissa, and Tart for making me feel welcome. And thanks to all that have visited my site and were amused.
I don't mean to be morbid, but I had a very dear friend of mine Karen die of lupus about 8 years ago.
She said my purpose in life was to make people laugh. I had lost my purpose for a few years.
Thanks to my family and good friends I have found that quality again.
Karen was a kind soul, and always said "Your friends are the ones that know you, but like you anyway."
Both of my parents have passed on also, but both had a great sense of humor and passed it on to me.
And Rachel, my mother and I could talk about anything. She was an absolute riot, a person you could confide in, quick witted, intelligent and beautiful.
Her quotes are priceless. I intend to write about her a lot.
I loved my father too, but he was a tortured soul, had a hard time choosing the right path.
This site is dedicated to everyone that helped me be the person I am today.

2002-11-18T16:37:00.000-05:00

I found this just for you Bill. he he he.

2002-11-18T16:29:00.000-05:00

Did I mention Bill is my son in law?
Did I mention that he has a blog called Bloviating Inanities?
Did I mention that the next time I see him I am going to fart on him and piss in his eye?
Don't make me get up Bill.

2002-11-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

This is my first try at this, so forgive me if I make stupid mistakes.
I want this to be a place to speak out and say whatever.
I know today is not the most interesting day, but give it time.
We may luck out, Dorsey might to something stupid to piss me off tonight, and we can talk about that, or we have that Prozac neighbor next store, the dog could chew up my underwear again, or my 24 year old sweet Julee could have a fist fight with her boyfriend during their vacation in Hawaii, and catch the next plane back home.
I forgot to mention we live in Virginia Beach.
My son in law helped me with this so he will be pleased that I posted today.
I need your help Bill on a couple more things though.
I will be on later if something good happens, otherwise see you in the a.m.

2002-11-18T15:02:00.000-05:00

This is my real name and I can prove it, so I don't want to have 5 million of Madonna's lawyers trying to sue me for using my own name.
I love to write, I love to read.
I am a Canadian transplant, and have been here in the U.S. for about 15 years.
I am married, to (you ain't just whistling Dixie) Dorsey Pender who is the great grandson of General William Dorsey Pender and I refuse to say anything nice about Dorsey today, he is being a poop.
I love him despite of his shortcomings.
I have 3 beautiful children, all girls, 29,24, and 12.

2002-11-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hello,
My name is Madonna, not to be confused with the other Madonna.

2002-11-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Yes, My Husband's Really Old

But at least he's not this guy.

And I have a cute puppy.

He's a crap factory

More tomorrow.